Marriage Volume 2, Issue 1

The institution of marriage is truly a sacred and beautiful relationship when followed after the model that God's Word has set. Marriages are to be the most intimate relationships we have outside of our relationship with God. One main hindrance to the level of intimacy experienced in most marriages is that one or both spouses has not yet cleaved to the other. In God's Word it states: Matthew 19: 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Many husbands and wives are still cleaved to their parents, friends, previous spouses, entertainment (t.v., Internet, video games, hobbies, etc...), occupations, or spiritual leaders. A man and wife are to leave and become one flesh and this is not just in the physical. When this command was given the ancient custom was that the husband would go and find a part of land on his father's property to make a home for him and his wife. The "leave" means that we let go of the influence of our parents in our lives so that our most important confidant is our spouse, outside of God. There is no problem with gaining wisdom or help from a parent in a trying season of marriage, but to allow your parent or anyone else to have a significant voice in your decision making or how your household is run will only hinder the ability to be intimate with your spouse. To become one flesh is to share one another not just physically but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If one spouse feels that they are less important than anyone else in the other spouse's life, intimacy will not be fully realized in that marriage. This leads many couples to divorce because a spouse felt that they did not have the full affection of the other spouse. Remember, you can never serve two masters, you will love one and hate the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other, Matthew 6:24. This scripture was spoken in reference to money and God. This scripture can also be applied to marriage in the sense that if you serve the wises and desires of your parents or anyone else in your marriage, you will not be able to serve the wishes and desires of your spouse fully. This can be a hard saying to receive basically because we want to "honor" our parents and if we have a great relationship, it may be hard to let go. Some signs that may lead you to believe that it is time to let go is, (1) You discuss major decisions in your life with someone else before your spouse, (2) The opinion of someone else has heavier weight than your spouse, (3) Time is more spent with someone (whether it be on the phone or in person) than your spouse, and (4) Your spouse is compared to someone in a negative way. Just as another note, if you find this person or thing a hindrance to your marriage most likely they are a hindrance to your intended intimate relationship with God as well!!! Today, if there is anyone or anything that you have to leave in order to allow your marriage to become as intimate as it was intended to be, please start that journey with the support of your spouse!!! Be Encouraged!!! Have a wonderful life of enjoying Marriage on purpose!!!!! Ephesians 5 Marriage—Christ and the Church 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.