Children are truly a blessing and a heritage from God. Proverbs 17: 6 "Children’s children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father." We know as parents that the blessing of a child is an honor sent from God. Just like with everything else God has given for our good, the enemy wishes to pervert and to use it as a stumbling block to bring division between husband and wife. If we are truly obedient to God's Word, we will not allow even our own children to come between us and our spouse. God would not set two people on a journey for a life time together then bless them with a child that would tear them apart. His Word says in Matthew 19:6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” The command was not to let no man separate, father from child or mother from child, but let no man (which includes children) separate husband and wife!!!
Many marriages today are hindered by the raising of children. When mother and father are not on one accord a child desperately seeks to exploit this division for their own gain. Becoming one flesh means that with all things we are one including the philosophy of how we raise our children. When the testing of the child comes and they find that mother and father are unified in their stance on issues the child will learn to respect each parent equally. Many husbands and wives look for children to fulfill the missing part of the equation in their marriage, this is very dangerous!!! There is a three strand rope and that is husband, wife, and God!!! A father's or mother's identity cannot be driven by the child. If this becomes the case you have now stepped outside of the Will of God.
God has not left us on this earth without a blue print to His sovereign Will. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Our duty as parents is to train up the child in the way of our Lord and Savior so that they will be able to have all the truth that they need to make the most important decision they will have to make in life, that is whether they will accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior or allow the enemy to be their Lord. We cannot make the decision for them and they will not make it to heaven based on our relationship with Christ. When we understand that the child is not our own but just like with every good gift given from God, they are intended to be turned back over for His Glory, we have peace just knowing we did all that we could do to train them up.
There is a principal called "the before, during, and after" principal. The way God intended for our lives to be shaped was that we would come to him in our age of understanding, which is around the teenage years. That means that we would have had a relationship with Him, before we got married, while we were married, and after marriage whether in this life or the next. The order of marriage is that we were married before the children came, we are married while we are raising the children, and we will be married after the children are grown and gone on their own. Please remember the only two relationships that you choose to be in with a required time frame is your relationship for Christ which has an eternal time frame and your relationship with your spouse which has a lifetime commitment. We cannot pick our family, which include our children and the choice of who we have as friends has no time limit requirement, so once again the two most important relationships is our God and our Spouse!!! Today, our life may not have followed God's blueprint, but by His Grace and Mercy, with the understanding of His Word and our Love to bring Him Glory, we can allow the Holy Spirit to put our lives and priorities in proper order!!! Be Encouraged!!! Have a wonderful life of enjoying Marriage on purpose!!!!!
Ephesians 5
Marriage—Christ and the Church
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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